Steven Hayes on Big Think

On CBT

CBT is based on animal models. It’s still relevant today but creators thought that there have to be a better way of dealing with cognition. That’s why there was a need to develop 3rd wave frameworks which are based on human models.

6:02

On ACT

Instead of detecting the logical errors in thoughts and challenging thinking (as in CBT). Patient notices thoughts and focus on the values and gets your feet moving towards the lives you want to produce

Look where the pain is flip it over and thats where the values are. For example. People are guarding themselves from the people because they don’t want to be hurt. Usually what they care about is a trustful relationship. What is the cost for them to guard themselves from feeling vulnerable? Is it worth it as much as not pursuing their needs.

When were the moments: where you felt connected, vital, flowing?

ACT is psychology of normal. Most of the frameworks are psychology of abnormal. Even though there are no specific biological markers for most of psychological conditions e.g. schizophrenia

Transcript on happiness 15:15 20:20

There are many definitions of happiness. One is that happiness is this warm, joyful feeling in your life that you have to pursue, grab and hold on for fear that will go away. It's fun when you have those feeling. But we know, and evidence shows the more intent you are on having those feelings and chasing those feelings, that's like the butterfly that flies away the more you chase it.

Better way to think about happiness is living in accord with your values and that is more open and accepting of your history as it echos into the present. More self affirming, self validating and values based. The Greeks had a word for it. They called it eudaemonia. It's not bad definition. That definition is something that will empower human lifes. The definition that we have that gets very hedonistic and emotion-oriented. The problem is that there are many quick and dirty ways to chase that, in ways that being unhelpful to people. If you avoid the feelings of betrayal and the sense of insecurity that comes with relationship that aren't working. By running into detuned relationships. By sexuality that isn't connected to intimacy etc. Yeah you might feel good but it doesn't live well. If you have another Martini or even more other extreme forms of substance abuse. Yes, it might feel good but it doesn't live well. If you escape into materialism – he right car, the right women, the right house, the right trip, the right job, the right praise. All of the folks that were wiser in our culture over the history of our culture have written about the dangers of trying to define meaningful life this way. But commercial culture and our media is constantly encouraging us that if we feel good we live well. And then they are only too happy to sell you goods and services from the dancing ovoys, to the pill you can take or the trip to the cars, clothes, women you can get. Whatever that is that will give you a quick route to this. And it is an empty promise.

I kind of looking what's on the t-shirts and I see another solution which also worries me. Just do it. No fear. This kind of suppressive response to kind of trickle that culture tries to defines for us as meaningful life. It also blows up on ya. No fear is not something you want to put up on your shirt. How about I can hold my fear and still connect with you. Put that on your shirt. It's okay to be with all my history. Put that on your shirt.

Happiness defined as eudaemonia. Values based life of integrity and fidelity to yourself and what you stand for. That kind of happiness, man... That's the kind of life I want to live