Nonviolent communication framework h/t Tim Ferriss on The Random Show from Jan 30, 2020 Tim Ferriss examples to avoid conflict and defensiveness in relationship:
take full responsibility of your experience and emotions
instead of saying: You did X because you wanted me to feel Y say: The story that I am creating in my own had is you did X because you wanted me to feel Y
if somebody is in a bad mood and the resulting conversation would potentially create a conflict. One side asks: What's wrong? good answer: Hmm, I have a lot in my mind. But I am gonna spend some time processing it. I am feeling a little tired or upset and I feel that if we talk right now we are gonna do a mess of things. (after a night of sleep or exercise these type of conversations turn out a lot better)